The title of this writing reflects the many realisations I had during this trip, about all the things that I have ‘lost’ and ‘found’ in myself, my values, and in my surroundings over the last few years, which I’m sure many others can also relate to. I think only in solitude, things like solo travel, are we able to allow the layers to come to the surface. I’ve been sitting on this post and writing for almost 1 year now, I think hesitant to share it with the world because this voyage had a special place in my heart, after possibly the most challenging and transformative years of my life. I feel like my words never do enough justice to the feelings that certain places, people, and experiences evoke in me. But like anything, striving and waiting for perfection is a fruitless…somewhat boring exercise. So here goes to diving into imperfect, raw, and short but sweet, travel memoirs, which I hope resonates with all you other humans out there in this wild world. Hopefully the photographs, moments captured in time, can also speak for themselves. x

Thoughts on a Plane.

The excitement of a flight was different this time. Like a tender hug from an old friend, bittersweet yet nostalgic. Something you forgot you had actually missed so much, until you were right there, in the thick of its embrace.

Indonesia.

Distant and familiar at the same time. It felt like I had been transported to another world, as the dusty humid streets outside of the taxi window whirred past in blurry moments. International travel after 3 years of being home bound, almost to the day. Geographical freedom after an unforeseen global pandemic, after a relationship breakup, after burnout, after many new chapters in my life…our lives. Tears of joy, sadness, and release touched my cheeks as a stranger and I drove on in the night, catching glimpses of late night food markets and small family gatherings.

I spent almost 5 weeks in Indonesia, twice extending my initially planned 3-week trip, perhaps subconsciously making up for lost time. And I damn well relished each and every moment. This trip was booked on a complete whim, driven by impulse, the gradual opening of Australian international borders, and well marketed Jetstar sale fares, costing me a total of $350 return from Brisbane to Bali.

Healing in Bali.

My first few days in beautiful Ubud was a peaceful and solo existence. Waking to humid mornings, jungle canopies and sounds of wild birds and monkeys in the not too far distance. I nourished my mind and body with zero agenda, zero accountability, colourful fruits and food, and daily practices of yoga and meditation. Because I was one of the few early International travellers post-covid, I was blessed with serene quiet spaces and minimal tourists at my accommodation. It felt like my own private retreat. It felt like perhaps an old version of Bali, decades ago before being somewhat overrun by tourists.

I explored. Inside and outside. I found myself exploring paths that had been unattended to and overgrown throughout the pandemic years – much like my mind at the time. There was still a wild beauty in the untamed paths. And they lead me to quiet places where I sat alone in meditation, in joy, in tears, and in release of so much tension and grief that I didn’t even know I was holding on to until those tender moments. I don’t know how many hours would pass. But when I walked back along those same wild paths, I felt that little bit lighter. The sunlight seemed to speckle differently on shadow green jungle leaves.

Sleeping in Jungles – Bukit Lawang, North Sumatra.

In hindsight, I was taken by the magic of Bukit Lawang dating back to 2014. Bukit Lawang, translates to “Gates to Heaven”. Despite a somewhat traumatic experience on a previous trek, I felt a calling to visit again and do a trek that was longer and travelled deeper into the jungle, compelled by the world renowned nature and wildlife of Gunung Leusser National Park. Bukit Lawang is a small tourist river village that sits on the edge of GLNP, also serving as an entry way to the magical Sumatran jungle. The fairytale like village was marked by a single winding concrete path that runs alongside cool clear blue waters of Bohorok river. Sitting tall and just behind the river is a dense vertical jungle wall, shaded infinite colours of green. At any time of the day you are likely to spot or hear the magic of wildlife; families of Thomas leaf monkeys, mother and baby orangutans, black and white gibbons, wild otters, reptilian water monitors. Though I came for the wildlife, I left with prints on my heart from the humans I met along the way. My trek and my weeks at the Gates of Heaven deserves its own dedicated writing piece…soon to come.

Waisak Day – Borobudur Temple, Java.

After temporary goodbyes, I voyaged to Indonesia’s largest island, Java, bound for the world’s largest buddhist temple and UNESCO heritage site, Borobodur temple, to celebrate a momentous occasion amongst Buddhists and non-buddhists around the world – Waisak Day, also known as Buddha’s ‘day of enlightenment’. In conjunction with Waisak Day processions, I learnt that Borobudur temple would also host a lantern ceremony at the end of the evening, during which thousands of paper lanterns would be lit, wished upon, held, and let go, allowed to float up into the full moon skies. The lantern ceremonies would also involve a 20 minute collective meditation, silent, only listening to the quiet chanting of Buddhist monks on stage. While I can remember how I learnt about the Waisak Day festival (which was via online research about local festivals on at the time), I can’t exactly remember what drew me to travel the 1730km (as the crow flies) to celebrate such a sacrilegious occasion, as a non-religious person. Perhaps it was the idea of thousands of humans, strangers, coming together to celebrate life, love, and light as a collective, particularly after such a time of trial and tribulation, following the unforeseen global pandemic. A pandemic that divided friends, families, loved ones and countries by invisible borders for almost 2 years.

Tasting the Ocean – Komodo Islands, Flores.

Coming soon. The last leg of the journey…or was it?